We all want to be #1. Whether you try to stay above your friends or your neighbors next door, knowing you are better than the competition is often what gives people a peace of mind and security in their relationships and social standing. So even in a stable relationship it is not uncommon to feel uneasy when that very competition is has entered your own home, the place where you should feel the least on your guard.
Even more so, what should one do when the competition is both attractive and present on a daily basis? There are no arcane potions to make oneself look beautiful – and we’ve all heard the stories of some maid or baby-sitter being the center of an affair, so the idea of infidelity begins to rear its ugly head, too, along with the thoughts of what one would do if they found out. Though is that likelihood large enough to even merit concern?
Statistically, according to a study published by Journal of Family Psychology, 29.4% of affairs occur with friends and long-term acquaintances, particular those who the adulterer routinely interacts with, such as a helper. Although that percentage may not seem like a lot to you, anything above 1% is risky enough to warrant some kind of precaution (at least for me it is). But should we truly allow insecurity to determine the employment of someone else? If so, then to what extent does it end? Must we also have a say on who our spouses may be friends with since friendships generally have an even higher chance (53.5%) of infidelity compared to daily helpers and acquaintances?
Whether dating or married, it is common for relationships to crumble. Although being cheated on is a more abhorrent way for things to fall apart, I still would be able recognize the futility of trying to remedy the situation and would rather see it as a potential for greater things—improve myself if necessary—and move on with my life. People should recognize the potential for failure or loss in many of the everyday choices we make since we not everything is perfect, and to refuse something or to shield ourselves to the point where there is no actual enjoyment (in this case trust) would be even more exhausting, boring, and stressful than the experience of the actual failure we try to avoid. And to that end, I would not deliberately choose a less attractive worker on the basis of any cosmetic reason, though I thorough I thoroughly understand why others may do just that.
However—and perhaps this is a characteristic flaw of my own pride—I refuse to be an instrument of my own destruction. To lose ones own spouse to competition is a loss in itself, but there is a special and bitter taste in knowing that I was the only who introduced, became acquainted with, and financed my own demise. Such a thought does not merely fade away into the category of lessons learned in life but would permanently linger in my mind whenever I thought of where I would be had I not invited a model to water my garden. So in the end, for the sake of my own pride in the future, I would definitely try to pick a more modest helper and then try my best to subtly convince my spouse to agree. Or I could just do my own chores, but I imagine I would just apply the age old philosophy of if I can afford to not do it, then I won’t.
Kenneth's Blog 